Chapter Seventeen

Revelations of Chance

 

Blinking slowly, I became aware of the room around me again. Across the pool sat Timtallagay, who seemed to be finishing up writing an excerpt in it's diary. Near it stood Gwen and Injarda-o, who were staring at me. Ah, um, yes.

"Hello Corvina, how are you?" Tim asked.

"Um, hi" I managed. "I'd say it's probably a fairly relative question." I grimaced at my bad pun.

Timtallagay nodded, "Oh, would you like to talk about it? Things become much more manageable when you talk about them."

"Ummm...." I continued.

"Here" Timtallagay offered "have a seat."

I started getting back into things a bit more ""No, no, Tim, I'm fine. I just saw something disturbing in the scrying pool." Disturbing, that's an interesting way to put it. WAS that the overall representation of the battle of the big powers?

"I knew that was a scrying pool!" I heard Gwen declare excitedly.

"Yes, it's a scrying pool" I answered her distractedly.

She turned to Timtallagay and Injarda-o, "Deep, deep magic. OLD magic" she enthused.

I was silent, considering the images I'd just seen. If we weren't there, did that mean we were still factors in determining the outcome? If we chose sides, would we appear on the board? Was Timtallgay immune to appearing on the board, having been kicked out from both sides? Giggle.

Timtallgay seemed to be speaking to me. Ah. "So, what....?"

I figured that out quickly enough "I'm not so sure that.......it would be difficult to put this into words. Not" I added hastily "that I am unwilling to share it with you." I sighed, "I seem to have been overseeing, or overlooking, the total overall struggle."

Timtallagay looked perplexed "Struggle of what?"

I gave it a humorless smile "Heh. Yes." Reflectively I added, "but Mr. Happy was in the middle."

Injarda-o looked up, "Mr. Happy?"

Gwen grinned at him, "Lothos, Scourge of Shadow" she said in a dramatic tone.

"Oh right" Injarda-o mumbled.

"Yeah" I added "funny guy."

Injarda-o looked at me as one would view a small, and probably slow, child

"And....you didn't expect him to be?"

Was I missing something "You don't understand" I told him "Absolutely everybody was there....well....except for us...absolutely everybody ELSE was there."

Injarda-o shrugged at me. He must not get it I decided.

"NO" I emphasized "EVERYBODY. As in EV-ERY-BO-DY!"

"Well" Injarda-o sniffed "yeah. That would make sense."

I stared at him, wondering if he came with reality controls. "No really" I said slowly "I mean everybody, from everywhere, and everywhen."

Injarda-o looked pained, and spoke slowly to me in return "Yes, that would make sense."

"Hmmm" Timtallagay added.

I was stopped here. Injarda-o obviously knew something I didn't. Either, one, he was holding out on me with information I could use, and I don't like that, or two, he was loonier than I originally estimated, and again, I don't like that.

"Why would that make sense?" I asked him.

"Because it's the beginning all over again" he explained patiently to me, as if I should have known that.

Ok, I'll try to follow this. "But we're not part of it."

"What beginning?" Timtallgay asked. Ah, he's been holding back on everyone I see.

Injarda-o ignored Tim's interjection and regarded me, "Perhaps we are."

"I don't wanna think like that" I mumbled.

Injarda-o looked over at Timtallagay "THE beginning, all over again, with a different ending."

"Well, that's plausible" I observed, then added "it was trying to pull me in... I actually considered it, there was, uh, someone there I wanted to talk to."

Injarda-o looked a little defensive. "I've mentioned the beginning before."

"Well you see, they were all so much younger, so very much younger, and many of those who are gone were back" I said.

"It's a circle" Injarda-o explained. "Everything is beginning again. Everything. So of course everyone's there."

There was a moment of silence in the room, and we stared at Injarda-o in a manner I've heard described as incomprehending.

"I don't understand" Timtallagay said. Took the words right out of my mouth.

When in doubt, prove you're a redhead and revert to sarcasm, that's what I always say... "Ok, well, you shouldn't take this the wrong way, and although I've had many interesting things to say about your home shadow being a very wierd place, you must understand that the totally incomprehensible and strange vision I saw in the pool made more sense than you're making right now."

"Ah, I'm not surprised" Injarda-o replied. What a waste of good sarcasm.

"Could you please try to explain?" Timtallgay requested.

In a frustrated tone, Injarda-o waved a hand at us "I've mentioned this to you guys several times!"

"Pretend you're talking to people who have NO IDEA what you're talking about, and take it from the beginning" I suggested. That wouldn't be far from the truth, I figured.

"Jerelak" Injarda-o replied.

"Ok" said Timtallagay.

"The one I hardly know" I acknowledged. "Go on."

"Yes" Injarda-o said. "He said to me at some point, and I have mentioned this before, that everything was beginning again, and that he expected it to have a completely different ending. So I expect everything to be pictured and everyone to be there. I have mentioned this, and no-one's ever listened to me."

Timtallagay protested "I personally have no recollection of you ever saying that."

They stared at each other for a moment, but the scrying pool still haunted me. I was still lost in my vision, and started talking it out loud, "I saw a very young Dworkin, and Oberon was there. Everyone was there. All the Lords of Chaos, all the Lords of Amber, every army of every shadow, were all ringed about this field. They were all closing in about the center, and in the center was Mr. Happy."

Injarda-o fixated on the word Center, and started questioning me about it. I remembered that he seems to think it's the name of some mystical place or other.

"The middle of the field" I corrected him. "Don't read into what I say, take it literally."

"I don't take everything literally" Injarda-o huffed. I ignored him and continued. "In the middle of the field was Mr. Happy, and they were all closing in on him, and he stood there and smiled. And looming way above, thousands and thousands of miles about me were these two figures, dark, shadowed figures, one on each polar end, watching."

Injarda-o looked curious. "Who do you think they were?"

I shrugged. "And then Mr. Happy looked up, and saw me looking at the fight and he smiled, and he pulled out my trump with the stick figure on it."

Injarda-o looked disgustedly at me "I knew you should never have given him one."

"Which is why" I continued "I rippled the pool, to break it. You have to understand, it was pulling me in."

"Oh yes" Timtallagay answered me.

"Oh I see" Injarda-o added.

The sat in silence for a moment, contemplating what I'd just told them

"They were all there" I added, almost to myself, "every Lord of Amber. Every one." I am not sure if I regret this or not, but I felt an overwhelming sadness at having to let go of that image. My mind's eye kept seeing a young Brand on a white charger. Before the madness? Could I have spoken to him there? Would he have known me?

"Maybe I should have let it pull me in" I mumbled unhappily.

"Maybe" Injarda-o agreed, but he had no understanding of why I said that.

"Just so you could meet everyone" he laughed. Nope, no clue.

"Now" I turned to him " I saw them, ALL of them."

Injarda-o nodded.

I smiled, he didn't get it yet. "I could describe them to you Injarda-o, and you could draw them."

"Yes you could" he said, coming to life "or you could show them to me in my mind, if you can. That would be even better."

I smiled again. "I could show them to you. Every one."

"When do we start?" Injarda-o asked.

"Whenever you wish" I told him.

Timtallagay turned back to me, "Now, did you see 01 and Tekvar there?"

"None of us" I reiterated.

"None of us" it repeated, "us meaning....?"

"I looked for 01, you, Tekvar, Injarda-o, Gwen, myself, I even looked for Prescott. None of us were on the field."

"Should I do a trump of the whole thing?" Injarda-o asked.

"Yes, I think you should" I replied to him. That might be a very interesting thing to have.

""That could explain why we weren't, if I did" Injarda-o theorized. My head hurt on that one.

I stared at him.

"I could make a trump of the whole thing and trap it..." he continued. He makes my brain ache sometimes.

"Well" I told him "I don't know if it's safe to make a trump of Mr. Happy."

"No" Timtallagay said decidedly, "no it is not."

"And keep in mind" I added "Suhuy is on that field and he saw me too. And so is Dworkin. And Oberon. And all of them."

"If you've never seen pictures of some of them, how do you know who you saw?" Injarda-o asked.

"I've seen pictures, and I've heard descriptions of all of them. They were LEADING the armies, and they're rather hard to miss."

"And everyone was there except.... "Injarda-o asked.

"They were there" I replied firmly. "They were ALL there."

"Was Prescott there?" Timtallagay asked.

"No, Prescott was NOT there" I repeated. "Merlin was. He was near the middle. You see, Chaos was on the left, and Amber was coming in from the right. Poor Merlin sat awfully close to the middle."

"We need to go to the center" observed Injarda-o.

"Mr. Happy was in the center" I told him.

"No" he corrected me, "the Center." I could hear the capitol that time.

"What is this Center?" I asked him.

"The Center" he explained unhelpfully.

"I don't know what you're talking about" I told him.

"Um" said Injarda-o, "all I know is that my teacher has artifacts OF it, so it must be a place."

"What are the artifacts like?" Timtallagay asked.

"Well" Injarda-o looked back at me "you said they were spikards." Light begins to dawn.

"I see" I said, "Well, before we leave this place, I would like to do one thing. I would like to try one trump I have." If Brand had survived the fall into the Abyss, likely it would be easiest to call him from the brink, no? Well, it's a theory.

"Ok" agreed Timtallagay.

"What is it?" asked Injarda-o, nosing closer.

"I don't wish to tell you at this time" I glared at him.

"Ok" they both said, backing off.

"However, if this trump does in fact react by getting cold, we're leaving." I commented to them.

They looked perplexed, but didn't argue.

"Is there anything you would like us to do?" Timtallagay offered. That's what I do like about Tim, you know.

"Yes" I decided, "if anything really bad seems to happen to me, pull my ass out."

"Ok" agreed Injarda-o. This was probably a good trio to have here to try this out, so why not.

I pulled out Brand's trump, and began concentrating on it. A vaguely cold, vibration came to me - this was not a sensation that I'd ever felt before. It wasn't cold, but it wasn't just dead air either. I withdrew my concentration slightly, but did not take my eyes from the trump. This was too odd.

"Injarda-o" I called, "when you activate a trump, and it does not get really cold, but it seems to vibrate, what does that mean?"

Injarda-o looked confused. "I"ve not heard of it, and I've not had it happen to me." he said. Oh great. Well, if the rumors and legends were true, it's for sure that Brand would be able to set up a trump so it couldn't reach him. Or so he seemed dead. I wonder...

"Ah" I told Injarda-o "it's like that, is it. Do you have a trump of something that doesn't exist?" I asked him.

He looked at me like I'd suddenly shifted to a form with three heads or something.

"No. All of my trumps exist. Do you want me to make a trump of something that doesn't exist?"

I chewed on my lip for a moment, not sure what I should say here.

Timtallagay had been regarding me strangely, and now turned to Injarda-o,

"Do you have a trump of something that has died?" Tim asked. Perceptive, I'll give it that.

I regarded Timtallagay for a moment.

"Exactly" I said to Injarda-o, while looking at Tim. Tim looked, as always, guileless. I wonder about that too.

"Do you have a trump of someone who is dead?" I asked, turning toward Injarda-o. "Your horse?" Timtallagay prompted.

"No. I don't have a trump of T'plana. I never bothered, it was always there" he added.

"I know" Timtallagay observed "I thought you trumped to the horse."

"Yes, but I didn't really trump to him, I trumped to the world he was in" Injarda-o explained.

Tim didn't look convinced.

"This can wait" I told them.

Timtallagay regarded me in silence for a moment.

"What is the trump that you were trying to...?" it motioned at the trump in my hand. I considered Tim for a moment, and I was strongly reminded of those oddly red sparkling eyes. This was a creature firmly in the grasp and influence of the Unicorn I reminded myself, more than just a travelling companion and friend. Not yet Tim.

"I don't think so" I told Tim, "I don't think I'm going to discuss that with you right now." "Ok" Timtallagay answered, agreeable as always, but still was watching me carefully. Could anyone really be that good an actor? Nahhh....

I sighed inwardly, "I may discuss that with you later, but I don't think now is good. And I apologize" I added, "but you'll have to take my judgement on that."

"Ok" Tim told me again, perhaps a shade more lightly. "I think that....well, I do know that, the person that you referred to as Mr. Happy, can monitor trump calls, even if they're very quiet."

"I'm not trying to call Mr. Happy" I assured him.

"I know, but I just wanted to make sure that you're all aware that he can monitor trump calls" Tim insisted.

"He can probably monitor whatever he wants" interjected Injarda-o.

"And" continued Timtallagay "everybody's very upset that he's loose."

"I know that" I answered Tim.

"And" Tim went on "what are we going to do about that?"

"I just saw something in that pool you have to understand. Everyone stood together" I emphasized.

"Yes" Tim nodded.

"Well, if he's an instrument of the beginning..." started Injarda-o.

"EVERYONE stood TOGETHER" I restated. "That doesn't happen."

"Well, why not?" Timtallagay asked. "It's sensible."

"It's never happened" I answered him levelly, and that was it I realized. It never happened. It never had. That couldn't have been the true past - it never happened.

"Can I ask a question?" Injarda-o shot in.

"Maybe it did, and they haven't told you about it" Timtallagay insisted.

"If he's an instrument of everything beginning again, can we, or even should we, stop him?" Injarda-o asked.

We all looked at each other thoughtfully for a minute.

"I'm all for stopping him, personally" I noted.

"I'm just bringing up a point" Injarda-o said defensively.

"Well, it depends" I told him, "I don't really care if everything begins again, there's only one thing I'm looking for." Ah, Corvina, learn to keep your mouth shut. That was much more information then they needed.

"What?" Injarda-o asked.

"What's that?" Timtallagay echoed.

Damn, damn, damn. "Something very personal" I told them.

"If you feel like telling us, we can try and help you" Timtallagay offered. Ah Tim, would that I could trust you. I can just imagine this conversation. Yes, please help me. Here, I'm trying to contact THIS person, you know, the last great threat to the multiverse. I think he may actually still be alive. No, I don't think he's still bitter about getting abandoned, shot and dropped into the Abyss, do you? Why ever would he be? You see, I think we might be related and I'd like to get his side of the story. You and the unicorn there won't mind, right? Great, now, just push through this trump....

"Thanks" I said. "I'm looking for answers to questions Timtallagay. Looking for information."

"I don't think I have anything useful to add" said Injarda-o, randomly. "I don't think my information is forthcoming anyway" I laughed, "nobody's stepping forward to volunteer it. The only person who's ever looked at me and said, what do you want - name it and I can give it to you, I'm certainly not going to ask. Although....I must admit, I was very tempted."

"Oh, Corvina" Injarda-o said brightly, "what color is the real Pattern? The one in the basement?" I looked at him incredulously. "I don't know! I've never seen it? Do I LOOK like I've been near the Pattern??? Ask Timtallagay!"

"Oh, you want to know what...? asked Tim, suddenly noting it's name.

"He wants to know what color the Pattern is" I commented.

"I know what the reverse of it looks like, from the black and white world. But I want to know what it really looks like, what colors and stuff" Injarda-o explained. That's actually a pretty interesting thought. I wonder what that black and white world really did look like to a trump artist . . .

"Ok" said Tim "what colors the real Pattern looks like, or what colors the one in the basement looks like?" Tim asked.

"That's not the real Pattern?" Injarda-o asked. I perked up and listened.

"No, it's not" Tim answered.

"I want to get sent somewhere" Injarda-o said, "will the real one do that?"

"The one in the basement will send you somewhere" I commented. I did know a few things.

"Yes" Tim nodded approvingly at me.

"Tell me what the real one looks like" Injarda-o pressed.

I stared at him. "Where do you want to get sent?" I asked.

"I want to get sent from the Pattern, which is the easiest way I can think of to do it, to the Center. I want to get to the Center. The Center is a place." Injarda-o explained.

I had an inspiration. If the Pattern could send us to the Center, why couldn't the Logrus pull us there?

"Let me try something" I told him. I called up the Sign of the Logrus.

"By the way" I informed Tim, "if you have the Pattern up, I'm going to be bringing up the Logrus."

"Oh" said Tim, "no, no I don't. I wouldn't do that without telling you."

I started a Logrus tendril search for the center, specifying it as the origin of the spikards. I gathered the tendril and extended it out for the theoretical center. I extended and extended, as far as I've ever gone before. It was like reaching for Amber. I began to feel tired, but I knew I still had to reach farther for this.

"Let me know if you need energy" I heard Injarda-o say.

"Feed it in" I directed. Anything would help at this point. "Gwen, help" I requested, and I felt her add her energy to the effort.

After a few more minutes, exhausted, I began to feel a slight vibration coming from the tendril. It was similar, but slightly different from the vibration I'd gotten from Brand's card. Well, I'd always wanted to know. No sense stopping now. I grabbed all the power I had backing me and shoved forward. The vibration increased, and felt very much like the trump contact. I pushed for all it was worth. The vibration continued building, and became more audible. It began sounding like a chime.

Bong. Bong. Bong.

I concentrated on it more, and began to see an image of a very old hand. Through the fingers I began to see a greyish object, probably the chime. On one of the fingers, there was a ring. A spikard, I imagined.

"Ok folks" I amnnounced through clenched teeth, "I MAY be close to what you wanted. Grab hold and I'll yank us all there."

I felt a few hands grab onto me. In the background I heard Timtallagay trying to explain what was going on to what sounded like Tekvar and 01. When did they get here? Hearing them questioning what the Center was, I knew we didn't have the time for this. With my jaw clenched tight to keep concentration, I shot back over my shoulder, "We have no idea, but if you're coming, NOW would be good."

Arguing recommenced behind me, but I had had enough. "NOW!" I yelled. I began reeling us toward the far end of the tendril, which creates what the Amberites call a hellride, only in reverse. Instead of causing the target to come to you, you lock onto the target and rush into it. This felt different from normal, however, and very wrong. Instead of pulling into an object, like normal, it felt like sinking through layers of an onion as it was being peeled, or a package as it was being unwrapped. As we approached, each new layer shredded away to show the layer underneath, and new images came with each one.

We began to see this old hand, then this old arm, then these ratty clothes. Then there was a strand of red hair, and we began to see the hand moving, hitting the chime, causing the constant Bong. Bong. Bong.

The sphere that looked vaguely familiar was the sphere that Lothos had taken from the startled Bleys. Injarda-o can scream at me later. I tried letting go of the strand, letting the tendril free and abandoning the pull. There was a resounding cackle with the constant bongs. The tendril would not let me release it, and we were inexorably being reeled in. Fine, you want to play games, we can play too. Since it wouldn't let me go, I pushed it for all we had and accelerated us toward the end trying to run straight into him. The tempo of the bonging increased, building to a deafening pitch, and then there was sudden silence. Into the silence, spoke a voice,

"Lothos, Scourge of Shadows. Welcome to the new beginning."

With that, the connection to the tendril broke. I cried out in warning, as we were all thrown loose. I had been battling against the pull so hard, that we all flew in different directions, apparently thrown through Shadow

I felt myself tumbling head over heels through Shadow, feeling very much like a piece of flotsam in a shadow-storm, totally out of control. I could feel shadows folding and unfolding behind and beneath me, as worlds shifted and spun dizzily around me. I felt more than slightly sick.

Something suddenly grabbed me, by the back of the neck. I don't respond well to this on a GOOD day, the today did not qualify. My shadow free-fall, however, was abruptly, but not violently halted. The scene around me solidified and came clear. Well, whoever it is, they didn't mean me any harm. I got a quick look around, and found myself in a gentle forest clearing. It did not have the majesty or depth of color that Arden did, but it was pretty in it's own right as forests go, or so I assumed. I don't have too much basis of comparison on this sort of scene. The hand was still on the back of my neck and shoulder, and I'm not overly fond of being grabbed. I turned to regard my rescuer, but in such a way as to not alarm them. This is not to say that I wasn't feeling fairly alarmed myselt at this point.

My panic increased as I saw on my shoulder, again, that old man's hand. I struggled to shrug it off, and I saw more of the arm and ragged clothes as I turned. Behind me, I caught sight of what looked like a tear in space, or shadow, and the figure was backing through it. The hand pulled away and the figure fell back. I realized, slowly, that something was wrong here. The hand wasn't really that old, like it looked at first, and the clothes were kind of greyish. They had looked old and ratty at a first quick inspection, but now I saw that they weren't. The figure continued to retreat through the crack. I squinted at him, and the impression of an old man fell away, and I recognized Brand. I grabbed at his hand, begging him not to go, to wait. Through that crack, those green eyes met my own, and I saw an expression of infinite sorrow. By the Serpent's eye, was Merlin right?! I jumped forward, trying to reach him, but he fell back fully through the crack, and as I reached it it sealed shut. I screamed in frustration, and desperately yanked out Brand's trump.

I felt tears running down my face as I focused all my concentration into it. Was it really him? And had he cared enough to rescue me when I was in trouble?

"Don't go, don't go" I cried, holding the trump with white knuckles. I felt that slight vibration again, and as I pushed it got stronger, but there was no answer, no contact. Openly crying, I roughly pulled the sign of the Logrus up before me. No style, no finesse, just a tap for brute power. I channeled everything I had into pushing a contact through. The pain was intense, and the vibration felt like it was rubbing my bones together. Blinding, white-hot pain shot through my head, and i poured all of myself into pushing that contact. I redoubled my efforts, and felt something warm on my face. Through pain-slitted eyes I saw drops of blood running down my nose from my eyes, and dripping onto my arms. I felt my nose bleeding, and the taste in my mouth was hot and metallic. Warm trickles ran down the insides of my ears and my neck, and dimly I realized that I might not recover from this. I pushed harder anyway, screaming "Please!" Just one answer to one question...

My head swam and darkness swarmed in to envelope me. I felt myself falling down a dark hole, and everything faded away.